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HomeNewsGrey's anatomy season 16 episode 05:" Breathe Again"

Grey’s anatomy season 16 episode 05:” Breathe Again”


Alex, Meredith, and Richard are operating. Meredith calls for a clamp and gets handed the tool she uses to pick up garbage. She says she needs a clamp, but Nancy Klein calls from the gallery that she shouldn’t have skipped her community service. Meredith gets sent out of the OR.

Meredith wakes to Zola telling her she doesn’t feel well. Meredith says she doesn’t feel well either and holds Zola.

Ben comes in and tells Bailey he just helped put out one of the worst fires he’s ever seen. She has something to tell him, but he lies down on the bed, saying he’s just measuring it. She tries to tell him she’s pregnant, but he falls asleep before she can get it out.

Meredith tells Ellis to eat her cereal. Bailey asks about her orange vest, but she’s not wearing it today because instead she has to go to court. She goes over to Zola, who is holding her head. Zola says her head hurts and her eyes hurt. Then she vomits.

Richard is leaving when he runs into Gemma. He had an all-night surgery. Gemma says she was going to pick up her paycheck and take him to breakfast. He tries to decline, but she talks him into it.

Andrew is updating Tom on his patients, but Tom wants to talk about how Meredith is going to make things right with Grey Sloan. Andrew says Tom has to ask Meredith about it, but Tom gives some suggestions anyway. Meredith then comes up to Tom with Zola. She tells him Zola needs a CT and tells him about her history of spina bifida.

Levi talks about the history of the hyperbaric chamber as they wheel their patient to it. Bailey sees Jo and tells her the patient is Carly Davis and she has carbon monoxide poisoning from a suspected suicide attempt. Jo recognizes the patient from her residential treatment and says she’ll join the case, pushing Levi off it.

While they wait for the CT, they talk about what might be hurting Zola. Meredith gets a text. She knows it’s her lawyer reminding her she has to be in court. Amelia comes in. Zola’s CT comes up and shows that she needs a shunt revision. Amelia starts talking about how she’d do the surgery, but Tom corrects that he’ll be doing it because Zola’s not his niece. As he goes to get ready, Andrew tells Meredith she can go to court and he’ll stay with Zola. Meredith makes it clear she’s not leaving and he goes to book the OR.

Meredith gives Taryn her number and tells her to text her every step of the way and not let Tom or anyone else kick her out. Taryn is delighted to do it. Meredith walks Zola to surgery and Tom reminds her that she needs to wait in the waiting room with the other people who don’t work at the hospital. Meredith tells Zola she’s brave and Tom says he’s got her. Andrew offers to skip the surgery to sit with Meredith, but Meredith says he should be in the surgery, so he goes.

Bailey is upset to learn that Jo knows Carly. Jo says Carly was just one of her therapists. She had three, different therapists for different things. Jo struggles to keep her hands steady as the work, so Bailey takes over and asks if Jo knows anything about her medical history, anything to indicate why she’d would want to commit suicide? Jo only knows that she’s 13 years sober with a serious addiction to almonds and science fiction. Jo doesn’t know why she’d do this. Jo starts to laugh. She’s forgotten everything Carly taught her about how to calm her nervous system. Bailey guesses that they were close, but Jo says she couldn’t stand Carly.

Jo sits in Carly’s office. She’s upset because she’s missing pool time. Jo says she’s already had therapy today, three hours of group, and it’s fruit punch day, which is the worst. Now Carly wants her to do EMDR. She used her media time to research EMDR. Carly agrees to let Jo go if she can explain EMDR in 30 seconds or less. Jo explains it, but she misses the part where it helps illuminate your capital T Trauma. Jo denies having any of that. She just learned something horrible about her life. Carly grabs an almond and Jo says if she’s going to eat in front of her, she could at least share. Carly says she doesn’t share food because of boundaries. She starts the EMDR with Jo. Jo’s safe place is an OR. Jo admits to feeling shame because she’s not in an OR. Carly asks about a childhood memory that gives her that feeling. Jo says no. Carly asks about memories that play over and over. Jo tries to downplay it, but admits that she keeps replaying her birth mother pulling her hand away at the diner over and over. They start with that.

Jo’s starting to panic more. She shouldn’t be in the chamber with her. She was back at work, doing fine and now she’s screwed up and she’s back to square one. She needs to get out, but she can’t leave. What does it mean for her if the one person who could make her feel better could go off and attempt suicide? Jo takes off her lab coat and shoes and untucks her shirt. She then starts listing the steps of a chest tube. She tells Bailey it’s a way to calm down, listing things she knows by heart. She starts to panic again and can’t think of something else, so Bailey yells out that she’s pregnant to get Jo thinking about something else.

While Meredith waits, she gets a text from her lawyer that the judge is there, asking her to come to court. Then she gets a text from Taryn saying everything is going well so far. Amelia finds Meredith and asks if she wants Amelia to go through the surgery step by step with her or if she wants to watch crappy TV and distract herself instead. Meredith wants to sit in silence, thinking the worst about Zola and court, but Amelia did not give that option. She reminds Meredith that Derek did a beautiful job with Zola’s shunt. Tom just has to revise. He poked around her in her brain and she turned out fine. Amelia admits to knowing nothing about the legal system, so she can’t help there. Maggie comes in and they update her. To distract Meredith, Maggie talks about her surgery, which made her feel more than her entire relationship with Jackson. She’s still feeling the rush. Meredith starts ranting about what’s bothering her and about Andrew. She’s upset that he offered to skip a surgery. He’s a resident. He shouldn’t skip surgeries. Andrew is trying, but he’s not a parent and he doesn’t get it. He’s sexy and fun and good with the kids, but she doesn’t know if she wants him to be more than that. She gets a text that they’re tunneling in the new tubing. Meredith wants to be distracted, so Amelia talks about how little she knows about Link despite the fact they are having a baby together. She’s trying herself to his blasé lifestyle. Meredith points out that she lives her life the same way. Amelia admits that’s true. Maggie says they’re going to love the baby no matter what happens with Link. Meredith thinks the surgery is taking too long. Then she gets a text that they’re confirming the shunt patency, which means they’re almost done. Meredith says Andrew’s a good guy. She thinks she loves him, but they’re at two different places in their lives and her gut needs to tell her one way or the other. Amelia’s gut only says yes most of the time, but she likes that and if she falls, she learns. Maggie says surgery might be her truest love and that might not change. Meredith wants to go into the OR, but they stop her. Until someone tells her everything is fine, she won’t believe it. Taryn comes in and Tom comes in behind her. Zola’s out of surgery and she did great. Meredith asks Andrew to stay with her. Once the surgical team leaves, Meredith celebrates with Amelia and Maggie.

Gemma complains about a co-worker, a CPA who counts on his fingers. And he gave her grief for leaving early even though her work was already done. He’s an idiot, but the job pays the bills. He’s to thank for that. They talk about her search for a sponsor. It’s not going well. She’s never been one to settle down, except with Ollie. But Gemma doesn’t want to talk about AA. She moves to sit next to Richard and asks him about him. He talks about the hospital’s progress. She asks him about Catherine. Things are improving there, too. He says he and Catherine like to fight, but it works for them. The light has gone out recently and he’s not sure how to get it back. When his mother died, he worried about his father not having his love sitting on the porch with him for the rest of his life. Gemma was the opposite. She never wanted marriage. She wanted a rotation of men. Richard’s never been a fan of that. Gemma touches Richard meaningfully on the arm. He takes his hand and moves hers off him. Gemma questions him pulling away. He’s married, but she doesn’t want to interfere with that. Richard says she’s mistaken in what signals she’s getting. Gemma kisses him and he pulls back.

Richard leaves, but Gemma is tailing behind him. She thinks he’s in denial, because he has a history of cheating in relationships. He tells her her behavior is not sober behavior, so she needs a meeting and a sponsor.

Bailey sees Jo’s face and tells her to get it over with. Jo squeals and asks Bailey questions about her pregnancy. Carly’s improving, but she should be awake but isn’t. Jo tells Bailey it’s okay to admit to being scared. She won’t tell anyone. Bailey says she’s not scared. She’s surprised. Tuck is the light of her life, but she thought she was done. She could be happy, but she’s also terrified. Jo corrects AND terrified. It’s a therapy thing. Being terrified doesn’t take away from her happy feelings, so it’s and not but. Bailey doesn’t like it.

Back at the treatment center, Jo tries to leave in the middle of the night, but Carly stops her. She’s sitting by a tree. When Jo asks about it, she says the therapists rotate because there’s always a runner. She thought it might be Jo. Jo says she doesn’t want to run. It doesn’t make any sense. She feels shame for things she didn’t even do. Things that were done to her. Carly says Jo is used to being exceptional, but right now she’s like everyone else there mentally. She’s stuck and can’t see past one moment that’s defining her entire life. Jo thinks it’s the moment of watching her mother walk away from her, but Carly says that’s not it. She gives Jo her favorite kind of juice, but still won’t share her almonds. Carly says she needs to move through the fear and shame and feel angry. Jo says she can’t, so she’ll be stuck there forever.

Jo has Bailey run through Tuck’s childhood bedtime routine to calm her down. Bailey starts to panic going into the routine when he was a little older, so Jo takes her back to the baby routine. It works and Bailey is impressed. Carly starts seizing, though they thought she was getting better. Jo wonders if the almonds are because she’s diabetic. Her sugar on admission was low normal and the hyperbaric treatment is making it lower, so they give her D50, which stops her seizing and wakes her up.

Jo comes into Carly’s office and admits that she’s pissed. She hates everything, her mom, her rapist father, Paul, the image playing in her head over and over of her mom pulling away. Carly starts smiling, which makes Jo more angry. Carly says it’s a breakthrough, moving into the anger. It’s progress. Jo says she can’t be angry because it she starts she won’t stop and then she’s Paul. Carly says she doesn’t know what healthy anger looks like. Jo says she can’t do EMDR. She knows it’s supposed to help, but she just can’t. Carly says she feels pride because for the first time in 22 days, Jo has asked for what she needs. Carly gets a bucket of soft toys and starts throwing them at the wall. She invites Jo to join her. They’re consenting adults, okay with throwing things at walls. Not at people. Jo agrees. That’s what makes her different from Paul. She can feel anger and still control her behavior. Jo picks up a toy and throws it pretty softly. When Carly comments on it, she throws the next one harder. She throws several more toys and starts to scream as she does. Then she sits up against the wall. Carly says she used to be the on-call social worked for Safe Haven. People would drop their babies off at fire stations and she’d get the call. And no matter how fast she drove, by the time she got there, the baby was always wrapped up in a warm blanket, surrounded by love. Jo was five days old when her mother abandoned her. Her brain doesn’t have a memory of her pulling away, but her body does. Her body felt the same way in that diner. That’s why it hurt so much. But she was surrounded by love and she still is.

Bailey’s examining Carly, who is now out of the chamber. Bailey offers to let Jo go home and take care of herself, but Jo wants to see it through. Before she leaves, Bailey says she watched Jo teeter on the edge and bring herself back all alone, bring Bailey back, and save someone else’s life. There was nothing square one about what she did. Carly wakes up and Jo tells her about her carbon monoxide poisoning, but they treated her and in theory, she should be well enough to go home tomorrow. But she has to call psych now. By law, all suicide attempts have to be reported. Carly stops her and says last thing she knew, she was curled up with the new Margaret Atwood and her heater and then she woke up in a space chamber. She didn’t do it on purpose. Her CO detector battery has been dead for months and she could have died. She thanks Jo for not letting her die. Levi comes in and asks Jo if he should get an endocrine consult for Carly. Jo tells Carly she can’t be her doctor anymore. She shouldn’t have been in the first place. Dr. Bailey will take care of her. Carly’s proud of Jo for putting up boundaries.

Richard wakes up and finds Catherine there. He tells her he worked all night then came home after breakfast to lie down and slept all day. He asks about her trip. She says it was the same as always. Richard looks tired and he says he is. She tells him to go back to sleep as she leaves the room. Richard gets a text. It’s from Gemma, apologizing for what she did.

Ben finds Bailey and asks her what’s going on. He quickly realizes there’s no emergency. Bailey takes him aside and tells him she’s pregnant. He’s shocked and surprised, but after a moment, he picks her up and twirls her around in celebration. She has nausea, so she makes him stop. But he’s happy that she’s pregnant and hugs her. He then tells the rest of the staff that’s nearby.

Alex comes home to Jo sitting on the couch and asks about her day. It was rough, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. She asks him if he wants to throw things. She gets a toy from her bag and throws it at the wall. She’s getting to okay. She gives a toy to Alex, who throws it softly. She tells him to throw harder. He does and hits a light. They move to another area and continue to throw toys.

Meredith kisses Zola and tells her she’ll be right back. She runs into Andrew in the doorway and says Zola’s doing great and asking for Jello, so that’s where Meredith is going. Andrew pulls one out of his pocket for her. Meredith sees Nancy and asks about Zola. Meredith says she had to have neurosurgery, which is why Meredith couldn’t leave her. Nancy says she’ll have to leave Zola and her other children now. She squeezed a drop of humanity out of the judge, but Meredith has to make up the hours. Meredith says she’ll be back at work crew first thing, but Nancy corrects that she’s going to make up the hours in jail instead.

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